I just word vomited so hard on this post.

Alright, kiddies it's time for another game of "Wait...wait...don't tell me (what I did this week)" followed by the game "Actually, tell me because unfortunately my memorization of Chinese characters has pushed out my memories of the past week". Unsurprisingly, the second game is for a rather niche audience. Which is why you're here. Or maybe you're here by accident. Oh no! Did you accidentally think Derek's post was on Wednesday? Well, you can leave now, I will only disappoint you. Onwards? Onwards!

I'm either doing college really wrong, or really right.

Oh, Maine Weather...
Thy cruel mistress who teases broken spirited students with days of warmth and sun such as these. You imply future happiness, but you are wont to proffer fallacious promises. I look upon my news-feed and find status updates celebrating the clear sky and lack of wind. But how quickly your good mood shall recede. It is not in your nature to bestow gifts without cruelly snatching them back before they can be fully utilized. Alas, we must take what is given and smile up at the sun. Bask in the rays while the day is still bright, for anon we shall cry once more in the freezing rain.
Or
IT'S WARM OUT, BITCHES! GET SOME SUN WHILE YOU CAN!

Archer shot me with a cupid's arrow.

Congratulations, you survived another 6 days without a post from me. How you readers deal with such Nicole withdrawals every week is astonishing to me. I, for one, cannot live a day without myself. Speaking of days: LAST THURSDAY (beat that transition, Jason).

My post isn't late, your expectations are just early (It's okay that it doesn't make sense. Trust me, I'm a debater.)

Oh hey . . .

This is awkward. I totally forgot to post yesterday, and obviously you were constantly refreshing the page, waiting in anticipation for my post to be published. Well, I sort of forgot that I was even involved in a blog that I could post to. Not because I was busy or anything (which I currently now am), but just because my minds been a bit frazzled as of late. Also, I'm busy. Onwards? Onwards!

A week to remember, and then to forget, and then promptly remember again.

Hello all you literate folk. It's time for another sloppy post. By the way, right now I'm stalling as I try to remember what I did this past week. But don't tell anyone that I told you that. It'd make me look unprofessional. And we all know that the writers here at "Tertiary, My Dear Watson" are dedicated to only publishing the most delicately crafted and thoroughly edited posts. Alright, I think I've remembered the basic components of my week. Onwards? Onwards.

Come Here For Sex Jokes. Haha . . . Come.

Once again it's time for me to post exciting stories about my week at Bates College that leave you unsatisfied with your own college experience. However, remembering my past week is very difficult for me. No, not because I black out all weekend long due to excess partying. It's because I have a horrible memory (quite a useful trait for college courses, eh?). Well, I shall try my best to relate my week to you, as I know you adore my posts. As I write this, I envision you greedily reading my words, hungrily scrolling down the page for more information about my life. Ahem. Anyways . . .