A Very Contagious Virus

Good day, my contemporary contemporaries! Have you noticed how busy you have become? Or how you seem to not have adequate time to do all the things you wish? Have you begun to barter away your precious hours of sleep to learn more about the solar system or political climate in Mozambique? What about your sudden need to consume caffeine at high quantities? These issues, my dear compatriots, are side effects of what the scientists call "College". Do not be alarmed! College, when dealt with appropriately, can be cured in about four years (unless it evolves into the Graduate strain). This condition that we have obtained ( I believe the scientific name for the virus we've caught is called Fültyme enrolmint) is very easy to deal with if you take the necessary steps to survive.