We shall see the Shire again.

Some of us sooner than others. Apparently, by the time Rachael reads this she will already be in the Shire. Hopefully the movie got it right; I'd hate for the book's version of seeing the Shire again to come true. Well, I still have a couple of weeks before I find myself looking upon a familiar sight. I'll be failing to remember the taste of strawberries until May 22, which is, I believe, later than Rachael, Jason, and Rich get home, but before Nicole gets home. So this week I have classes and next week I have exams. Disirregardless of when you guys stop posting, I will post next Monday and very likely the Monday after that. If ruining the weekly symmetry of the blog is something you can't deal with, go ahead and leave, because I'm not going to.

I am in Gryffindor and (much to his chagrin) Devin is in Huffledor. And we will have Gryffinhuffledor babies.

Welcome to the best blog of the year.  Why?  Because J.K. Rowling has affirmed the premise that I belong in Gryffindor.  Perhaps not personally, but through the site Pottermore.com, which despite Nicole’s bragging about, I started, since I told her about it.  Just kidding.  Sort of.  (Also I'm aware that the title isn't an accurate portrayal of how sorting works [it's not genetic (though I think the Weasleys make a strong case against this- I would've put Percy in Doucherdor) and you can't arbitrarily combine houses, such as "Huffledor", which I put Devin in because he has all the good traits of a Gryffindor but is really friendly/loyal, too, and despite what y'all say, I find Hufflepuff kind of demeaning.].). (<---- Surprise ellipses!)

Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children . . .

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It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Here Comes the Sun

Last week I was wondering if Rachael was alive. Turns out, she was, and presumably still is. (Speaking of Rachael, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Yes, I have all of your birthdays, plus those of several other people, written down in my calendar. I need not use an electronic crutch for such things.) Well, this week another member of our cast has gone AWOL, although I am less inclined to think that he has died than I am to think that he simply forgot to post. Rich, please come back. We miss you.

I wish I had time for just one more bowl of chili.

First things first: Rachael, are you alive? Or has some inexplicable force prevented your Friday post from appearing on my computer? If you have died, please let us know so that we can get on with our lives without wondering what's become of you. Thank you.

It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward.

Did you feel the eathquake? Only a 4. Weaksauce. It should be obvious which one of you I'm addressing here.

Advanced Darkness

10. ASPARAGUS

9. Without any milk.

During the August of 2009 I came up with a list of my top ten favorite Spongebob episodes. I know this because I saved the list on my computer and dated it. This small fact entered the royal realm of relevance relatively recently because a friend of mine, as it turns out, did not grow up with Spongebob.

The Ignorant Edema

You know what's funny about starting off a sentence with "You know what's funny about x"? It's just that, if you don't know what's funny about x you really don't have anywhere to go with that sentence. I say this only because I started typing "You know what's funny about" and I didn't really have anything in mind, so I just wrote this circuitous little justification for me starting out like that. Now I suppose I can get on with things that are actually things.

Bigs, Bracelets, and Buildings

Happy Friday, friends.  I love being the beginning of your weekend.  I will do a good job this week and outline everything I’ve done.  I hope Rich forgives me for not being a good Christian; I didn’t read the Bible this week.  If you want to stop here, Rich, you can.  Just cover your God-loving eyes.  That’s not a stab at all; I actually think it’s awesome that you’re reading it.  You ought to be one of those atheists who can out-Bible someone who considers themselves a die-hard Jesusphiliac.  Before I begin: I can’t promise a lot of caps lock; I don’t want to follow your lead as many others have decided to.

I won't yell during this post.

JUST KIDDING!