295 Federal Crimes on the Wall, 295 Federal Crimes..

Hello, fellow bloggers.

Well, it pains me to admit this.  I pride myself on being a law-abider, but, since my last writing, I have performed 295 federal crimes.  I know, I know.  You’re all shocked and surprised if you’ve even taken my word for it.  You probably think it’s some kind of joke.  But I’ll explain in short, because I have 22 minutes until midnight.  Let’s do this.

The Bad Thing About Posting on Fridays

The bad thing about posting on Fridays is that if you have any evening plans it’s awkward to post.  Which is why it’s 1:13 AM here, and now that I’m on Pacific Time, that puts me as posting on Saturday.  How awkward. Well, hello anyways.  (P.S. if you're confused about why this says Friday when it is Saturday, that's because I adjusted time and space to accommodate myself).

Now that it’s late at night, you can hear one of my famous LateNite Rants™.  I don’t actually have any famous LN Rants, but you can hear one anyway.

HELLO EVERYONE DID YOU MISS THE YELLITUDE?!

You know what?  I missed all y'all.  I'm glad we got to see each other over break (except Rachael, who must have inexplicably lost my number and not known who was texting her).  I kid, I kid.  Now that all of my abuse has gotten out of the way (All of it?  Who are we kidding.), let's kick some ARSE!!!!!11!!11!!!1!!!!shiftone!!!!11!!