So be it, Jedi.

November already? Jumping jellyfish, that happened fast.

The serpent was more crafty than any other wild animal that the LORD God had made.

Today was my first day of classes, and by classes I mean class, because I only had one. Geology 170: The Dynamic Earth. Kinda a basic geology course. One of the requirements for the geography major is that you have to take one class in the geology department, and this one seems pretty good. We go on hikes during our lab periods. Good enough for me.

It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward.

Did you feel the eathquake? Only a 4. Weaksauce. It should be obvious which one of you I'm addressing here.

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

There comes a time once in every runner's life when he forgets what it is like not to be acquainted with the sport. More specifically, there comes a time once in every runner's life when he forgets what it is like not to be acquainted with people who wear very short shorts and think that it's perfectly normal. And for those not aware, I ought to inform you that I am using a very liberal definition of the word "once." But more on that in a minute. We're taking the chronological route for this one.

I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good

Let's start this story up on the twenty-sixth day of August, which, for those of you who didn't just check your calendars, i.e. all of you, was a Friday. Two Fridays ago, to be precise. I'm at home in Newport Beach on this particular Friday. In my room, again, to be precise. My dad walks up the stairs, hangs a quick pair of rights, and starts talking to me.

"So you know how we're supposed to fly out on Sunday?" he says. I am, of course, paraphrasing.
"Yup."
"And you know how the plan was to go from Long Beach to JFK (That's in NYC, Jason.) to Burlington?"
"Yup."
"And you know how there's a hurricane going on back east?"
"Yup."
"Well, we've had to rearrange our flights."
"And . . ."
"We're still flying out on Sunday from Long Beach, but we go to Orlando via Austin, spend a night in Florida, and fly up the coast to Burlington Monday afternoon."
"So what you're saying is we've got an entire morning in Orlando."
"Derek, why are you smiling?"