It is the last week of Short Term. There is a large party being thrown in my house currently. What am I doing? Embroidering my underwear with sassy phrases next to a feverish, sleeping boy who has taken shelter in my room because he wants some sleep but the first floor of Hayes is too noisy. So. I'm doing needlework and have become the caretaker of a sick human. I am a mother. I am what a person might call the life of the party, if said person was being sarcastic. I am actually really, very content.
So Sophomore year is wrapping up. In about a day, Short Term will have finished and I will be at the half-way mark of my college experience. Oddly enough, I'm not upset or unnerved about this at all. Sure I could see the end of this school year as a frightening point, going forward into the second half of my college experience knowing it'll only be two years until I'm graduated and shoved out into the real world. But truthfully, two years more of this college seems like a lot to me. Two years is a long time. And I think after two more years of Bates College, I'll have had my fill and will be ready for a new adventure.
And speaking of new adventures, I can't say I'm disappointed that Summer is here already. Obviously this isn't a ground-breaking epiphany. Most students don't get upset at the prospect of Summer Vacation. They get excited, like I am right now. But I'm in an astonishingly different place mentally than I was last year at the end of Short Term. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to be done with Freshman year. I was scared of the summer ahead of me, and the school year that would follow. I was so adamant that Freshman year was going to be the highlight of my college career and that everything was going to be downhill from there. Why? I'll spare you the details, but one of the people I had met that year, had become the closest to, was graduating, and I had no idea the next time I would see them again. Silly of me to think that this fact meant life was going to get significantly worse. But it did lead to a lot of moping around that summer as well as doubting the statements that all of my college friends, who were buzzed on with excitement for about how fun the next year of college was going to be.
Well I was being stupid. And luckily I knew that my behavior was idiotic (even while exhibiting it), because it allowed me to work as hard as I could to enjoy my second year, filling it with plans and activities and adventures and projects and most important, people I truly loved. This might be a contributing factor to why Sophomore year topped Freshman year pretty easily. Because I needed it to be better than the year previous. Sophomore year kicked Freshman year's ass. Don't get me wrong, Freshman year was full of wonderful new people, relationships, experiences, feelings, mindsets, what-have-you. But Sophomore year was more comfortable, and I was more comfortable doing things that I always said I wanted to do, but never get enough courage or willpower to get out of bed and actually do. I spent a great deal more time with the friends I had come to like over Freshman year, and added to that pool of people as well. These friends are some of the most genuine, interesting, funny, and kind people I have ever met. And this year I felt so at ease with them, chilling in dorm rooms, the library, The Ronj, Commons, random events on campus, and whatever other opportunity presented itself. And I'm proud to say that I seized a great deal more opportunities than I did last year. From participating in psych experiments and going to more performances, to going on more adventures with friends both on and off campus (think bonfires, hikes, trips to the beach, treks to the roof, fancy cheese and bread movie nights, ukulele playing, etc. etc.).
You also might have noticed that this year I actually have photos to prove I existed at Bates College. I'm pretty sure that as a Freshman I was in/took around 10 photos cumitavely. Well, this year my acquisition of a DSLR motivated me to go out and do more, and take thousands of pictures while I was at it. It also helped me decide to take the photography class I'm taking this Short Term.
What I'm basically saying is that this year has been amazingly...fulfilling. Not only did I do a lot more, but I became a person that I like even more than before. Sure, I became more of the person who I wanted to be through actions: the person who does all the fun and adventurous things, wears the well-put-together outfits, draws, paints, photographs, plays the ukulele and sings (granted I did some of these things before), writes more, double majors in English and Environmental Studies, learns Chinese, debates, aaaaah and so many other things, whatever, yes, I do a lot of things. But--BUT, people more than just what they do. I don't want to get all pseudo-enlightened on you guys, pretending I've got all my shit figured out and have achieved my ideal self, but I do want to say that I think I've become a more well-rounded person because of my last two years of college. Through both academic classes, debate, tumblr (but actually) and other websites, club events/get-togethers, lectures, and just interactions with friends, I have learned a lot about the intricacies of the world and how to treat people. The experiences that have come with my decision to go to Bates College has taught me to be a kinder, more thoughtful and empathetic person. Obviously I'm still annoying and silly and imperfect. I still constantly make puns, have a immature sense of humor that often goes over people's heads, am selfish, can be a bit rude, and forget to text friends I haven't seen in a while to reconnect and hang out with them. I could write about all my other flaws too, but it's sort of boring to do, so I won't.
I think where I was going with this is that Sophomore year rocked. And that, as opposed to Freshman year, I'm not begrudgingly moving into summer and Junior year. In fact, I'm pretty stoked for this summer. For those of you who don't know, I'll be flying home this Friday, relaxing at home on Saturday, and then driving up to my internship in Chinatown, San Francisco on Sunday. The internship that my college has given me three thousand dollars to do, and then present a lecture about once Junior year has started. A pretty sweet deal, I'd say.
I know that this post was a lot more idealistic, optimistic and cliched than I wanted it to be. I know a lot was vague and just me blathering on about how ~~~wonderful~~~ my experiences have been, but just let it slide. It's late and I'm getting nostalgic for the past and overly psyched for the future. Better than being pessimistic, I'd say. Unless you're not into happiness (or at least my happiness).
Uhm.
This is me gracefully signing off,
Nicole
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