March, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

I know, I know. I haven't posted for a while. Or maybe you haven't noticed. Either way, I'm here to stop this nonsense and give you a run-down of my life. Spoiler Alert: there has been very little change.

Today my mind has been functioning on a weird gear setting. If I were to describe my mood in a physical motion (as I did when Grace asked me how I was feeling) it would be me slowly extending  my arm in front of me, using my hand to grasp out at the air as if my fingers were gliding through molasses, rotating my hand until my palm faced the ceiling, all while having a slightly bemused and strained look on my face. If if I were to describe my mood in a nonsensical noise it would be "Ehhhhaaaaaaaaaaihhhhhaaaaaiiiiiii?" and if I were to use a simile to describe my mood , I would say I feel like a situation where someone accidentally turned off the wifi to their computer without realizing it, leaving them confused and a bit uneasy, refreshing their webpages and having their computer "troubleshoot" the system to see what's the matter all while the computer sort of fiddles it's thumbs wondering why it's owner doesn't just switch the wifi access back on. 

Basically, I'm in a funk. I feel like I'm forgetting something but "the problem is, I can't remember what I've forgotten".

Today it snowed the entire day, until it rained. And then it rained the entire day. The weather is cold enough that it snowed heavily, with large clusters of snowflakes breezing around the sky. However, it was warm enough that the snow immediately started to melt on campus, leaving us in an environment more reminiscent of Venice than Lewiston. Speaking of Venice, I'm visiting there in the summer, along with around 16 other cities over the course of late June, July and August. If you guys have any general advice about traveling through Europe, let me know, since I'm traveling alone for a bit of my trip and need all the help I can get.

In news relating to my continuation of seeking power wherever I can find it, I have been "promoted" from Vice President to Co-President of the Bates Author's Guild. Recently I've been writing intentionally post-modern poems with brand names in them, as well as a poem inspired by my "Paradise Lost" class called "Satan is having a Party". Because Milton and I are all about humanizing and sympathizing with fallen Lucifer. 

My fondness for strawberry milk is waning, though it did have a good run these past two weeks when I obsessively put strawberry flavoring in my milk and the glass bottle of milk I kept for the fridge at home. But I'm growing tired of it, even though it's delicious and the pink hue of the milk pleases me to no end. Oh also, swedish fish have been entering my body at break-neck speeds too. I guess unnaturally colored food and drinks are making a comeback in my life. I don't know. Does anyone know? I don't.

I'm reading "The Road" for my "Catastrophes and Hope" course right now. However, the name is a misnomer, since the class focuses around ~0% on hope. The professor has even admitted this. The color scheme referenced in the book ranges from gray to gray to gray to grey to black. And I think maybe brown will make an appearance if we're lucky. It's been a blast sloshing through campus, staring at black, melting snow and reading about a post-apocalyptic world. It does wonders for the mood I'm already in.

Today for my 8 am class my professor didn't show up and instead at around 8:15 a lady came to tell us she wasn't coming to class because of a medical emergency. I hope she and her family are okay. I'm working on a video project for that class focusing on a short scene from "White Noise," which is now one of my favorite books. I don't know why I took such a liking to that book, but here we are. And here I am obsessed with semiotics and post-modernism like I'm a college student in the mid-80s. It's fine. I'll get over it (or will I?!)

I have never needed wanted the spring so badly as I do now. For the first 18 years of my life,spring and summer were not really concepts to me since the weather doesn't really vary too much in Southern California. By holy mother of god am I jonesing for some real sunshine, foliage, and apparel-change. I want color again. I want something interesting to photograph. I am most definitely ready for both Short Term and the Summer. I am ready for this winter to end. 

But until then, I must go read sad books, write 10-15 page papers, work on group projects and pretend like eating 3000 calories in one sitting will not have any consequences in the near future for me.

But I'm happy, I swear.

Yours truly, 

Nicole Danser