The second theory was that the illness was a curse from the cry of a wronged he-goat.

According to Wikipedia, "Gastroenteritis is associated with many colloquial names including: "Montezuma's revenge", "Delhi belly", "la turista", and "back door sprint" among others."

The college health center recently sent out a school-wide e-mail informing us that many cases of gastroenteritis have cropped up. Including mine. The last few days have been the most miserable that I can think of. I will not disgust you with the details, even though I kinda want to. If Wikipedia is to be believed, and if my memory is correct, this is the same thing that Rachael had in India, and it's also what Zachary Taylor died of. But that was a long time ago. The point is, I don't have the energy to type out the story of my week today. Next week I'll fill you in on what it's like to ski on the east coast (i.e. what it's like to go to the hockey rink with skis rather than skates) and what it's like to run a three kilometer race on a 160 meter track (i.e. what it's like to run a race that's 18.75 laps long). Actually, I won't fill you in on those next week, because I just did this week. Neither experience was much fun. Nor is my current state of health. I will now go wallow in self-pity some more.

Atlases, Austen, and Ancestors- What More Could a Girl Want!?

Hello, and welcome to 2012 and the best blog of this apocalyptic year.

I am referring to our collective blog, not this particular post.  I know my post will fall behind some of the Austens, Mitchells, Woolfs, and Brontës of our group (yeah, I picked all female writers for a reason.  Ovaries rock.), but I’m comfortable with sitting in the back of the pack blissfully unaware of all the grammatical and social faux pas I commit.  I am the college student who crochets and gets good grades.  I have not been to a club, I have not started smoking or drinking (well, the occasional soda hath passed my lips, a dietary choice I regret deeply), and I go to bed only slightly later than I did in high school.

HELLO EVERYONE DID YOU MISS THE YELLITUDE?!

You know what?  I missed all y'all.  I'm glad we got to see each other over break (except Rachael, who must have inexplicably lost my number and not known who was texting her).  I kid, I kid.  Now that all of my abuse has gotten out of the way (All of it?  Who are we kidding.), let's kick some ARSE!!!!!11!!11!!!1!!!!shiftone!!!!11!!

A Very New Year, A Fairly Similar Nicole

Ah, how good of you to come here and see me.  But alas! I didn’t expect you! I look like such a mess, pixels all disheveled and tossed everywhere! My layout is usually tidier than this. But we must carry on. Onwards? Onwards!

 It’s 2012, the start of a new year, and you will all be smugly satisfied (you heartless bastards) in knowing that I have already broken all three (count them, three!) new year’s resolutions. How, might you ask, did this happen? Ah, my curious noodles, you will find out in just a moment’s time.

Back With A Vengeance

Or at least I wish I was back with a vengeance.  After Derek's phenomenal post yesterday, there really isn't much to look forward to.  I had so many ideas for this post and how great it was going to be and then my hopes and dreams were CRUSHED like when a person with anger management takes a pestle to a mortar.  How's that for a simile.  I think it competes with the, "Her eyes were ovals, like circles of dough gently squeezed by the touch of a thigh-master."  Or however that simile goes.  Rich knows what I'm talking about.  *Figuratively making that awkward double handed point into the crowd to make that one inside joke so only you and that one person can laugh while everyone else shifts uncomfortably*  Did I mention you should read Derek's post?  It's really good.  Better than mine. Go! GO!

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

There comes a time once in every runner's life when he forgets what it is like not to be acquainted with the sport. More specifically, there comes a time once in every runner's life when he forgets what it is like not to be acquainted with people who wear very short shorts and think that it's perfectly normal. And for those not aware, I ought to inform you that I am using a very liberal definition of the word "once." But more on that in a minute. We're taking the chronological route for this one.

No Post On Sundays!!!!!!!

Oh wait....

Just a PSA regarding our safety over break!