Holi cow.

This picture has nothing to do with the blog, but it is so classy.  Holi on the quad happened yesterday, and I skinned my knees sliding in the mud soon after this photo was taken.  What an old fashioned childhood moment.      L to R: Emma Watson, my little Desi, friend Keya.

I am a record keeper.

I have both an excel spreadsheet and written list, with ratings out of 6 “stars” (they’re circles, because those are easier to draw), of the 43 books I have read since I turned eighteen.

I am in the midst of my sixth journal, one for every year since turning thirteen, only it always takes me a little longer than a year to finish them so I’m running a little behind.

The Kevinly blanket you forgot about?  The perfect Lizzy Bennett breasts?  The thirteen thousand nicknames we made up for each other?  The backpack being dropped on top of another backpack to serve as a bizarre sex metaphor?  I’ve got them all up here, never fear.  Or fear, since it probably means I haven’t replaced those memories with better ones.  But it’s okay.  I am a record keeper.

When I was a freshman in high school, my biggest fear was indifference and being forgotten.  I dyed my hair blue.

Now, my biggest fear is living fearfully.  And if I have a bigger fear than that, my subconscious is not telling me what it is.  I cut most of my hair off and dyed it red, perhaps that is a parallel.

Maybe my biggest fear is letting go of all the memories, and maybe that’s why I’m a record keeper.  Regardless, when I’m old and have this blog and the journals and whatever percentage of the thirteen thousand nicknames remain in my head, I’ll be happy.

While I’m waxing philosophically, I want to tell you that I’ve learned something this semester.  By taking on too much, I see the value of taking a break.  Lots of breaks, in fact.  But breaks ≠ laziness.  The breaks I’m referring to are from the sedentary lifestyle under synthetic lighting that the university people seem to push us toward.  Because a nap is so much sweeter outside, and after you’ve done something worth sweating over—hiking, biking, cooking, dancing, laughing… you catch my drift.  I get that I sound totally cheesy/hippie/trite right now, but truly truly truly I cannot wait to be simultaneously fit and well rested this summer.  I’ve already started working toward that end now by working out more often (which is super relative, since I was hardly working out before) and not getting caught up with the hustly bustly commitments I’ve set up for myself.

In less than a month, I get to visit Derek at Middlebury for nearly a week, harassing him, embarrassing him in front of his friends, and hopefully getting some hiking in.  But only if there’s time left over after those two important activities.  Then I’ll be spending time with my Baltimore family (dad’s cousins) before backpacking in the Shenandoah land for 4 days with REI.  May will finish off with the NOAA conference in D.C., and I’m curious as to the level of pomposity that the other scholarship winners will be wearing on their perfectly-cuffed sleeves.

This summer, I’m going to camp and do a three week farmstay in Exeter, in the sweltering foothills of the Sierras, and spend time with my grandparents (hiking!), and hopefully brush up on my Spanish before Spain.  Either way, I know I’m going to feel lost the first few weeks abroad, and then (hopefully) figure my shit out.  Please visit, traveling to Europe is really cheap.