February Break, Lost Traction and Radiators

Today Erika and I dropped Grace off at the bus station in Portland so she could get to Vermont for a few days. It started to snow just before Erika and I started to drive back to Bates. I had Erika drive because I had never driven in snow...well she hadn't either but was a more experienced driver. Our Prius lost traction in the snow three times, within 5 minutes of each other, all only 2 miles from school. We first almost ran into a stopped car in front of us, and then almost glided into oncoming traffic, and then almost hit a car that was driving forward as we were turning left but couldn't stop. Luckily Erika utilized snow drifts to stop our car. I was intensely impressed with her accident-avoidance skills. I would have probably got us killed. 

I just wrote this instead of a post because there is a horrid noise coming from my radiator:

My radiator is asthmatic, taking quiet, slow, whiny breaths in and out, in and out. The moan starts out high, resting on F#. It then falls through notes F and E and finally ends abruptly on D# as if I were turning the bath faucet off in one swift twist. But what it really sounds like is a man in the basement being tortured with a hot iron rod being pressed into his abdomen. Or as if a man just down the street is screaming out in intense agony because he has found his daughter lying dead in the street. As if he has knelt to pick her up, and is crying out in anguish.

I spent around 10 minutes tonight walking around my house trying to hear where the noise grew louder. I started out my search by going outside, hoping the noise would not intensify, hoping that I had not been neglecting a man crying out for help in the snow because I thought it was just a scream I had conjured up in my mind. I paused on my porch to listen. Nothing changed. The cloudy sky and newly quilted snow were playing ball with the photons of the lit city. A car drove by. No one seemed distressed. Perhaps, at 20, I was cracking. One of those mental disorders where symptoms begin in early adulthood. Perhaps this was the start of  a new internal struggle I'd share with imaginary strangers who are faced with maddening pain, all stuck inside my skull. I wouldn't rule out that option just yet. But it was probably just an appliance in my house.

Shuffling back in, I grew angry at my home for screaming at me every fourteen seconds. I counted (and I just counted again. It is still going). I quietly slinked, and creeped around the house in my socks, feeling the noise slowly drawing me towards a fit of belligerence. Finally I was compelled to place my ear to the living area's radiator. It wasn't too hot. Such a faint yet taxing noise murmured then screeched forth.

Knowing the sound's source does not make it any more bearable.

I am home alone. Catherine's family picked her up on Friday. I dropped Grace off in Portland today. It is just me and the man in anguish, sitting in the living room.

Okay. So.  It's break. I've been chillin'. I went on a small day trip where we played games trying to pronounce different lakes and mountains on our map (Our favorite name turned out to be "Ugh Lake". Grace and I are now going to make a zine called "Ugh Lake" because if it), we visited the largest rotating and revolving globe in the world, and went to L.L. Bean:

Grace, Erika and I have been chillin every night, watching Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind and American Horror Story every night, eating hand-made ice cream sandwiches and other snacks. Popcorn with sriracha, quesadillas with beans, Portobello mushroom burgers with vodka sauce drenched penne pasta, cinnamon rolls, etc.

This morning Grace and I went to the pop shoppe and had good coffee and breakfasts that only included the colors orange, white and brown. We got Mike to steal fruit from commons for us today, though. 

Valentine's Day came and went, and my mom sent me a care package that included EIGHT BARS OF FAIR TRADE, ORGANIC CHOCOLATE BARS and two bags of macaroons. I am overwhelmed. I managed to finagle myself six valentines, myself being one. They were Colin, Jack, Sam, Ashleen, Grace, and I. All I had to do was ask, and they all said yes. Well, first Grace gave me two V-day cards (FIREFLY THEMED!) and I asked if that meant she was my valentine and she said yes. Then I made her a card in response. But yes. Many valentines. It was mostly for a good power trip. Sometimes you need to feel powerful ha...ha..h.a.....ah.ah.a..ha.h.a.

And even though I had quite a few Valentines, I still wrote and recorded a song where I sung about how it's nice to be our own valentines anyways. Take a listen if you're interested:

http://punditz.tumblr.com/post/76685900114/a-quickly-written-and-recorded-song-for-those-who#notes

I finally took a photo with my Instax mini (I was scared to. THE FILM IS SO PRECIOUS) and tried the double exposure mode of the camera. It didn't work out GREAT, but I'll get better, I swear. Okay, that has basically been the interesting parts of my week. Oh wait! I bought a shirt with the planet Venus on it and also have started rigorously planning for my trip to Europe (well, maybe not rigourously). Everything is going pretty swell. AND THE MAN IN MY RADIATOR HAS FINALLY STOPPED SCREAMING YESSSS. (Edit: Nevermind, I lied. Now it sort of sounds like a wounded and howling wolf/dog, though)

Your pal,

Nicole Danser