Oh Shoot

It's all about capture

and display

the way I see it

I know I didn't really write a post last week, so let's start off from where I last left it. Colin left on Friday two weeks ago (I believe). On Saturday I wrote a song and tried recording it, but then laughed at how abysmal the sound quality was (I tried via my Nikon DSLR, my iphone and my webcam, and they all have sound issues or weird image capturing lags). I know Catherine has some cool recording device thing I could try to use, so I might give that a go.

Sunday consisted of me trying to juggle productivity with my deep desire to sleep the day away, causing me to be dissatisfied with both areas of life. But the day did end well with spending time at the Ronj with Emma and Shana, reading poetry to each other (our own and others') for a while. Superbowl happened. Or so I heard.

February 4th was the quiet before the (snow) storm

February 5th. My first class of the day was cancelled because of snow (spoilers: it was just re-scheduled for Friday). I wrote a Captain's Log in my journal. I also bought a disposable camera to broaden my styles with photography forms. I'm excited to see what weird developing quirks occur after I finish the roll. Light leaks? Weird exposures? Odd flash results? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. Jack came over and sat in our bathtub drinking PBR as Grace buzzed his hair with her hair-buzzing tools (??? I am blanking on the word here). She was also drinking PBR. Hair styling under the influence. I associate with rebellious youths, you guys. It was a Wednesday but it felt like a Sunday because of the gloriously snowy weather. 

February 6th. I accidentally took too long of a nap and then woke up to bad news via email. I also wasn't feeling too hot about myself but I got over that as the week went on. 

February 7th. After much goading from Erika, I shuffled over to Doug and Singha's overflow apartment where some of my friends and acquaintances were chilling. We played that party game where you write down a famous person/character/philosophical abstraction on a slip of paper and make the person to your right place that slip of paper on their head. Then each person gets on question they can ask per cycle around the room and all the other players answer the question (and possible bicker between themselves about whether what they are saying is true or not). I was King Kong, if you were wondering. And I made Emma be Hilary Clinton. Someone else was Jimmy Neutron and one of their questions was if they were a part of a nuclear family and I just replied with "haha...nuclear". I am useless. 

February 8th: I spent most of the day at the Ronj working around Grace. Writing my 10 page poetry paper (1.5 spacing!! HOW DARE YOU, FARNSWORTH. I TRUSTED YOU) as well as writing a quick self-care piece for Grace's self-care zine. Here, you can look at it:

"Here is a list of things I do to keep myself

cared for. To keep myself caring about myself.

Maybe you can find use in it.

1. Personality Tests

Myers Briggs, Enneagram Tests,

even silly Buzzfeed “Where Should You Live” tests.

Things that make you remember what makes you special

Or different. Or who you are. Or who you need to be

And gives you hope about what you can be and do and

where you can go from here.

2. Intimate Interactions With Your Art

Whether it is sleuthing around Lewiston

            getting snow and dirt on your knees to get that

            perspective just right in your photograph or video,

            editing those photos or footage, manipulating color and shadow,

            choosing the images that fit together perfectly for your piece.

            Whether it is spending hours searching through

            Thesaurus.com trying to remember that word that

            captures that feeling others need to know.

            Whether it is creating that chord progression that

            dreamily hums in your heart and haunts your day

            Or spending your entire day painting that piece

            that you need need need to get out of your head

            and into the universe. That is what you need to do.

Manipulate the world for yourself.

 Do it. You will feel right.

3. Organizing

There’s nothing like putting things in the right space

            to make me feel like perhaps finding the right place

            for myself isn’t as hard as it sometimes feels.

            Also, touching my things comforts me.

My bicycle socks, bedspread, bottlecaps, journals

Newspaper clippings, photographs, lantern lights.

I know they are not who I am, but they are what I chose

to surround myself with because they pleased my eyes,

felt like me, felt good.

4. Prepare Something for Yourself

            Sometimes it’s as simple as a cup of tea, or a warm bath

            Or a playlist that you know will sooth your soul.  Sometimes

            it is an elaborate meal or your outfit for tomorrow, seasoned

            popcorn and a season of Parks and Rec queued up on Netflix.

5. Plan for Something

            It could be your schedule for the day. It could be your daily itinerary

            and elaborate travel plans for that fantasy trip to Europe or roadtrip

across the US you might be able to take one day. It might be looking

up jobs that interest you, apartments in cities you want to move to,

shops you want to go to during some college/holiday break. Perhaps

you are planning for your ideal life as I always do. Yeah, it might be

a little unhealthy, but looking up that camera I might buy which could

prompt me to photograph the streets of Boston or Rome or Zurich,

or those portable speakers which would allow me to

lounge on the beach listening to music sort of gives me

something to hope for in the short term. Something achievable.

It’s a little materialistic, I know. But sometimes you need to

look at objects as a starting point, a catalyst, to realize

what and who you want to be in life. Then you can let those objects go

 and just strive for the things about yourself left behind.

I don’t know. I’m just spit-ballin’.

6. Sometimes Do These Things with the Good People In Your Life

            It’s not always what you do to make yourself feel better,

            but with whom you do it with. Create good things with good people.

            Cook dinner with friends. Cross stitch with your housemates while

            watching New Girl. Color in pictures of flowers in the basement of

            Pierce with fellow students, getting your fingers stained with pastel dust.

            Maybe don’t take a bath with your friends, but maybe sit in

the empty tub with them as your roommate shaves a boy’s head

on a snowy Wednesday afternoon.

Sometimes you need to sing and dance alone.

But sometimes it feels good to stomp around together

like you and your friends own the world."

It's rough and a little cheesy, but cheese is delicious so...

That Saturday I also channeled my inner Russian Political Royalty and wore all black with black sunglasses, a (faux) fur trapper hat and glaringly bright red lipstick. I don't usually wear makeup (like...ever) but sometimes you just have to try new things to jolt yourself out of a monotonous funk.

Oh, I also made fried raviolis and baked asparagus and cookies with Mike in my house, and then had a "family" meal with him, Grace, Owen and Erika. Then the Crosstones had a party at our place and we were playing Kings and I had to sing a song in front of everyone so I chose "Dream a Little Dream" and afterwards Rusty (Crosstones Alumni) said I should perform with the Bates Jazz Combo because I have one the jazziest voices he's ever heard. So. Who knew? Haha. I mean, Colin always told me I sounded best when I sang more low and jazzy songs, but I assumed he just had a preference for that sort of thing. But now that Rusty and Grace and Catherine all have agreed and are coaxing me to perform with the combo, I might take their advice.

Sunday I continued to work on my Poetry paper and other things. I remember being a bit grumpy and asocial at the end of the night...oh! I remember why. The new "This American Life" podcast was a RE-RUN and I was LIVID about it, especially because I don't even think they admitted to it. Those sneaky npr bastards.

This week has been okay so far. It's midterms. I still have a paper and a test on Friday. I still need to study and prepare for the test. I can figure out the paper eventually. It's due date got pushed back to Monday, actually, so I have time.

I just emailed my professor and advisor a link to all the "Welcome to Nightvale" podcasts because I thought he might like it. We have a very casual friendship, it's fine. So Liberal Arts. So English Department. Maybe we'll discuss it over apple cider Tuesday night (WHOOO HAVEEE I BECOMMMMEEEEE???)

OH! I almost forgot to write about the reason why I titled my post "Oh Shoot"! (yes, sometimes I write a title before I write my actual body of text). I GOT A NEW CAMERA IN THE MAIL TODAY. Nothing too fancy like a DSLR or anything. But. It. Is. The. Bomb. Diggity. It's the Fujifilm Instax mini 90 neo classic edition. Think of a mini-polaroid camera. I'm going to go crazy with experimenting with this camera. With double exposures. Very exciting. Next camera will probably be like a Lomography Diana camera. Or maybe just a normal film one if I can find a good cheap one. I have one at home but the spindle thing that re-uptakes the film spool in it is broken, so it is currently useless. Maybe I'll get it fixed eventually. Anyways, here is a bit about the camera I got if it interests you. Here: http://instax.com/mini90/en/

Break next week! Gonna sleep 5ever and watch Miazaki movies and eat Thai food with Erika until we puke. <3

See ya chum(p)s,
Nicole