Patience Gets Us Nowhere

Ever since the break-up it hasn't been the same.  We're in that stage right now where one of us keeps reaching out to the other only to get no response.  I don't know what to do anymore.  Every time I try to make amends my mind goes blank.  What do I say?  What does she want to hear?  If only there was a way to end this phase, I would give anything.
I guess writing something rather than nothing is the first step.  I've missed you guys.  A lot.  Why didn't I post earlier?  It wasn't that I was overloaded with work, nor that my interest had waned.  I was scared.  Every time I sat down to write one of these posts I had no idea what to write, where to begin.  What do I want to write about?  What do my friends want to hear about?

My default excuse became the mundanity of daily life.  Reading about your interesting, action-packed lives, it left me feeling that somehow my life was lacking.  This deficiency of action and excitement gave me reason to suspect that my posts would be boring and unfulfilling to read.  I was scared to post for fear of imperfection.  I wanted my posts to be entertaining, intellectually stimulating, well written, and every other amiable quality under the sun.  Trying for perfection and not moving on when things are "good enough" is definitely my greatest weakness and something I need to work on. 

Well enough of that, I'm back and I intend to stay.  You might think I've found out what I want to write about then. Nope, not really. I just know that every time I come, try to post, and fail it becomes increasingly harder.  So my resolution is to post every week now on Tuesdays.  It might be short, it might be long, but let's start with baby steps and just post something. 

Beginning with this weekend then. Yeah yeah, you didn't hear about my first eight weeks of the semester and probably are curious about that too, but that can wait until another time. This weekend is fresh in my mind, and that makes it easier to write about.  On Friday (which begins the weekend for me at 9am when I get out of class) I went to go teach at Berkeley Arts Magnet school through Wonderworks.  It was an interesting experience because this semester our group (myself and four other Berkeley students) are teaching an international class where one kid only speaks Mandarin and another only French.  Luckily my group members also speak these languages so we were able to translate our lesson plan for these two to understand. After our first lesson, I expect this will be my most challenging semester teaching because the students' prior experience with science is considerably lower than my previous classes. I guess it comes with being an Art Magnet school.

Then Friday night my fraternity had what we are now referring to as a "brotherhood" event. Unlike previous semesters, we now set aside a portion of our budget ($4000) towards specifically brotherhood activities.  I'm really happy we have this now because I was always jealous of MCK's (Matt, Cole, Kevin, not the stock) fraternity for the brotherhood activities they did like going to Tahoe for the weekend.  I've always been a proponent for putting the friendships established through the fraternity over the friendships (and more) gained at co-ed parties.  So Friday was taco and game night and it was wonderful. Lots of smash and mario kart for me, fifa for others. Outrageous fun.

Saturday there was a football game in which we got absolutely destroyed by Oregon State. Not much more to say about that except that, upon leaving, my friends and I asked the vendors shutting down if we could have their extra burgers and we ended up scoring triple patty burgers for free; rewarded for staying for the entirety of the game.  On Sunday I met with some friends to work on my ChemE homework. We made brunch and had a nice breakfast before spending around five hours working on our problem set. I've really grown to enjoy working with friends, it makes homework more bearable and even if we are just silent I like the atmosphere it creates.

Well I think that's enough for now.  I got work to do and I'm playing IM volleyball tonight. If any of you are interested in playing volleyball over the Winter break we should definitely do so because it is my new favorite pastime.  I will talk to you all next week!

Much Love,

Jason