HO HO HO MERRY RICH'S POST DAY

This makes me Santa, officially.  Sorry, Satan.  I meant Satan.  Speaking of which,

That's that movie that I think I remember telling all y'all about.  So beautiful.  OKAY LETSA GO!

FRIDAY LAST: WHAT DID I DO LAST FRIDAY I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA.  Hmm......nope.  I got not'in'.  Absolutely...nothing...oh well carry on.

SATURDAY LAST: Woke up late, then went to KARAOKE!  It was in downtown Portland, and was how they apparently do it in Japan where we (being Liz, Autumn, Stephen, Evan, Varchas and me) had a private room with a TV for the lyrics, lights, a disco ball, and some mics.  It was super fun (and pretty cheap).  Then we walked around downtown, got pizza at a...pizza place.  After that, some more walking, then we headed back toward Reed.  We grabbed some froyo (I got the trivia right--what do the letters stand for in E = mc^2.  I know it's not impressive) and then walked back to Reed.  Once we got back...I don't know something happened probably but I don't remember.  Oh was it this day that I found out I

SUNDAY LAST: CROSS COUNTRY SKIING MOTHER FUCKERS.  There was a misunderstanding about the time we were supposed to meet (don't worry, I was early, not late [I know you were worried about me{I mostly wrote that so I could double, and then triple, bracket}]) so we went to a different place.  Twin lakes.  Part of the way it's the PCT, and part of the way it's...not.  However, on this particular day, it was totally icy.  So I'm going uphill, sliding back down, whatever it's all good.  Then the downhill came.  Which is normally a biiiiiiiit out of control for me, but you know.  I can handle myself.  When I cannot handle myself is when the ground is ice and I'm on cross country skis that are too short for me.  So I ate shit.  Hard.  Over and over again.

I fell on this trail a million times.  But instead of that pretty, soft powder it was cold, hard ice.

It was decided later by Will that I had the greatest wipe-out, something I'm rather proud of.  So this girl Kat is, let's say, thirty feet ahead of me, I'm eating shit the whole way down the mountain with brief (but FAST) spurts of movement fit in there.  Finally I turn around and see the instructor behind me...walking.  He had the rest of the class take off their skis if they didn't want to fall, and said I could do the same.  I decided to keep mine on =D.  When the two of us (Yes, I was falling so often that my instructor's walking speed was negligibly slower than mine.) finally catch up to Kat she's at the place we were supposed to wait (where it diverges from the PCT) and is like "GUYS I FELL LIKE 5 TIMES".  I, at this point, had quite literally forgotten how many times I had fallen.  It was my braking technique, so I guess...probably infinite.  I fell an infinite number of times (With a smile for each, might I add.  A smile, string of "SHITFUCKSHITFUCK" and a laugh for each).  But anyway.  Once the group catches up, Kat and I take off our skis and we all head for the twin lakes.  We're going, laughing about how I would have literally died if I had been riding skis, Kat talking about how she falls more standing than skiing, people behind me making fun of when I fell (in good humor, of course), me bragging about my ability to invent new words to swear with (still the most proud of "Shittletits"), and we get to this little creek.  "Okay, let's head up the creek" says our instructor.  So we start following this one snowshoe track.  That gets pretty uphill, and my quads are dying, but I make it to...the point where they start going essentially vertical.  "Alright, double back".  So we head back down (I almost die) and then he's like "We'll go up here".  VERTICAL.  MY POOR QUADS.  Anyhow, we're haulin' ass up this huge hill and we make it to...an empty field.  Our instructor is all "Kay, we're lost.  Let's have lunch." So we have lunch, and I make fun of someone, then make fun of another person, then Kat, Katie (no relation), and I come up with a system of Man-Grunts for starting your car, opening doors, opening pickle jars, etc.  After this meal, we head back.  On the ride home...we talked about a bunch of stuff, including how vegannaise "brings gormet to the table".  So that was funny.  After that, Ted, Liz, Varchas, and I all went to Thai food, where I told these various stories and Ted told stories about mock trial and mock trial Jeremy (hereon MTJ).  When I got home...I think bed?  Or maybe...yeah I watched Kill Bill pt. I for the first time.  That was funny.

YOU ARE SO DUMB.

MONDAY LAST: Woke up feeling pretty sick, so I didn't go to the gym or hum lecture hoping to sleep off the sickness.  Chilled out all day, then did homework.  Uhh...yeah.  Went to bed relatively early (as early as I could with my stupidly long chem problem set), again fighting valiantly to kill off the sickies.

TUESDAY LAST: Again felt sick, so slept through bio lecture and all the way till I had to get up for fuckin' Analysis.  God that class.  AFRO KID okay so afro kid is this kid (with an afro, I know right) who asks inane questions really slowly.  If he asked good questions slowly, that'd be fine.  If he asked dumb questions quickly that's fine too.  But asking a slow professor dumb questions in a slow fashion, which then takes Joe Bob (our prof.) respond slowly and carefully lest some dumber, slower question come up is not okay.  AND THEN HE ACTS LIKE HE'S SMARTER THAN ALL OF US.  HE'S A PROSPECTIVE MATH MAJOR.  AHHHHHHHHHHHH okay so anyway, slept.  Then homework.  Uhh..................then Ted and I taught Varchas to play magic.  Then sleep.

YESTERDAY: Slept through hum again, almost through chem, but got up in time.  I HAVEN'T GONE TO THE GYM THIS WEEK I HATE SICK anyway, classclasswhateverclass oh yeah then chem lab.  We had to have partners, and becuase I have no real lunch I got to lab a bit late, so I had/got to partner with this girl Hannah.  She's one of those people who like...is SUUUUUPPPPERRRR overly careful about everything.  Which is fine.  But I'm not one of those people.  And my data is always fucking awesome so whatever.  But so anyway I had my lab all set up and was like "LET'S DOOOO IIIIIIIIT" and so I was like we'll do blah blah blah and she was like "Sure".  So I did that, and then when we were ready to go she was like "WAIT WHAT THIS MAKES NO SENSE DID YOU SCREW THAT UP NO THAT'S NOT RIGHT OH MY GOD BLAH BLAH BLAH" and I was like "It's fine, calm down, we're cool" but she was freaking out.  So I was like "Trust me, the data'll be fine".  And then it wasn't.  200% relative error for our first two trials.  TWO.  HUNDRED.  PERCENT.  For comparison, in this intro chem lab acceptable rel. error is 10%.  On my past experiments, my highest relative error has been one percent.  Okay so I was like goddamn it maybe I did fuck up.  I'm gonna be so pissed if this is my fault.  Let's run another set to see if it was just random error.  150% ERROR.  WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK so we call the lab assistants over and are like "Can you please watch our technique?!" and they're like "Yup" so there's four of us crowded around a spectrophotometer and we're like COME ON BRO cause they said our technique was flawless.  90% ERROR.  They have no idea what's happening, so they call down the person who set up the lab to see if she can figure it out.  In the mean time I run a cuvette of water in the spec (result should be 0) to see if it's the spec.  So my partner and I are like YOU CAN DO THIS SPEC!  JUST FUCK UP AND IT WON'T BE OUR FAULT!  Result?  0.000045.  So that's close enough to 0.  Goddamn it.  Alright so then the lab tech Monica gets here.  She's like "What was your procedure?"  I bring out my lab notebook and show her the procedure and explain what concentrations we ran and how horrible our data are.  She's all "Scrap everything, we'll run a fresh pair of tests with fresh solutions".  So we do that.  AND 200% ERROR AGAIN, GODDAMN IT.  Okay so she's like "Huh...I watched you do it...you did everything perfectly.  Like no mistakes.  Let's use this other batch of stocks."  So we do...and BINGO 1% ERROR.  It was the solutions' faults all along (how that makes sense I have no idea, but whatever).  But at this point, my partner and I have 45 minutes to do what, theoretically, should (and did, for others) take a pair 4 HOURS.  I'm all "What do we do?" and the lab prof. is all "Well...how confidant are you in splitting up?"  My partner is all "Yeah we can probably do that." (For contrast of our demeanor, I just yelled DIVIDE AND CONQUER and started to work.  We ended up working well together though.  Also I characterize her as freaking out for no reason, she did call me on a couple of careless errors that, while they wouldn't have ultimately affected our data, were really poor form.  So good on that.)  Anyway, I just start hauling ass, making solutions while running a spec and then simultaneously mixing and prepping and labeling and recording.  I FINISHED MY HALF IN 40 MINUTES.  I DID WHAT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PARTNERS TWO HOURS IN 40 GODDAMN MINUTES.  WITH 1-5% ERRORS IN EVERY CONCENTRATION BRACKET.  I AM A (very humble) GOD.  Then I turn to my partner and ask her how she's doing.  She has just finished making her solutions, and now has to run them, which should only take like 20 minutes. was like "Wait...you were holding persulfate constant...?" and I was all "Yeah......."  So we had accidentally done the same thing, so she had to redo hers (just to be clear, I confirmed that I was doing varying iodide concentrations with her so many times she became exasperated at confirming that that was, indeed, my job).  Anyway, we finished alright, and I bailed.  Then ate, played some magic, etc.  Then slept.

TODAY: Woke up a biiit late for chem conference.  Headed over there, joined a group, helped them to win first place in a little contest we had.  I am an Excel wizard as well as a god.  Then I came back home, fixed my magic decks (they're much better now) and did that some.  Then worked, then dinner, then an ice cream thing, then started to write this.

NIGHTY NIGHT!

P.S. Also, forgot to mention, I'M GOING TO AMSTERDAM, BTCHES