HELLO FRIENDS AND OTHER FRIENDS.

I HAVE RETURNED!!  We're the best group of awesome people in history.  Also, most of us are sexy.  Jason and I are super sexy.  Derek is so sexy that I cannot describe it.  Too bad we have such weird looking women in this blog.  LET'S CONTINUE!
I'm going to do two weeks of stuff in this post because I went to Amsterdam and I'm going to brag.  Okay.

FRIDAY LAST LAST: So Ryan and I had school, then we chilled out.  Then, that night, we all went to Thai food, came back home, and played Civ V until like 2 in the morning.  VARCHAS ATTACKED ME WHEN I GAVE HIM ONE OF MY CITIES TO STOP HIM APPEASEMENT NEVER WORKS anyway then I packed and Ryan packed.  Then we got in our taxi (AT 4:30 AM [those were all caps numbers]).  A nice quiet taxi ride to the airport aaaand made it through security in like tendeone seconds.  So we headed through to our gate and got on the plane.  I just realized this is Saturday technically I guess, so

SATURDAY LAST LAST: we're sitting on the plane and in the exit row.  I'm listening to music and fall asleep instantly cause at this point I haven't slept for 48 hours.  The plane lands in Chicago (as I was listening to "My Kind of Town") and Ryan and I go through the airport blah de blah find our new gate sit down can't find power find power then layover then run on sentence then we get on the plane okay.  So we get on this plane and it's one of those huge Boeing planes that's set up 2-5-2 seats.  I'm sitting window seat on the right and NOBODY'S SITTING NEXT TO ME.  So I start doing a little dance, and am reminded of this comic.

All credit to theoatmeal.com  I don't own this, etc.
 http://theoatmeal.com/comics/airplane_heard

Okay so there's nobody sitting next to me and the plane PULLS AWAY FROM THE GATE FUUUUUCKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHAHHAAAHHHHH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  We're about to take off, I'm doing a happy dance, and then they say "Hey, we've got a slight malfunction with something, we gotta pull back into the gate to have it fixed.  Rich is the best, he's goddamn sexy with that extra seat."  I see nothing wrong with this, so I carry on with my happy dance.  Then I hear some dude with an old southern drawl be an asshole to the flight attendant.  Below is the transcript of events:

"Well I'm sorry sir"
That guy's a douche.
"Sir, I think there's a seat back here"
OH GOD NO NO PLEASE NO oh they're walking past me we're okay.
"Oh, and one right here!" [points at the seat next to me]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Dude sits next to me]
[Dude immediately gets on the phone]
"Yeah so I got to the gate at 6:02 and the fuckin' plane" (keep in mind there are children near us) "had already pulled away even though it wasn't supposed to leave until 6:05. So I made a big motherfuckin' stink up at the gate and they said 'Well sir the plane has to be repaired' so they brought it back to the gate but I don't believe that. Then I got on the goddamn plane and they had given my seat away. So now I'm sitting back here with the chickens and the goats!"

Now, I find that phrase funny.  Calling coach the "Chicken and Goat Section" is pretty amusing.  YOU DON'T SAY THAT WHEN YOU'RE SITTING WITH THE CHICKENS AND THE GOATS.  But anyway, that flight goes on, and eventually they're all "Please turn off your lights and close the windows so people can sleep because it is now midnight in Amsterdam, and that means

SUNDAY LAST LAST: that we ought to go to sleep.  So yeah.  I go to bed.  THEN SUDDENLY ALL OF THE LIGHTS ARE ON ALL OF THE WINDOWS ARE OPEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME CHICKENS AND GOATS MAN IS STARING AT ME AND A FLIGHT ATTENDANT IS WAVING A PASTRY AND YOGURT IN MY FACE.  After my brain figures out what's happening, I grab my breakfast.  The rest of the flight proves uneventful, and we land in Amsterdam.  We get out, take a taxi to our hotel, climb up the stairs, and I meet Ryan's dad.  Pretty awesome guy.  Then I enter the apartment he's rented for a week.  Okay really awesome guy.  Here's the view from the apartment.

So wow.  Then Ryan and I walk around the city a bit, take a shower, then watch Ryan's dad get 1st place in a race (His team got 3rd overall, competing against a shitton of other teams from around the world.  So that was cool.)  We had delicious cheese and bread, and then went to bed.

MONDAY LAST LAST THROUGH FRIDAY LAST: I'm going to summarize every day as follows:
10:00: Wake up
10:30: Breakfast of cheese, bread, and apples.  Read a book.
Somewhere from 11:00-1:00: Get out of the apartment, walk around the city.  Have a good lunch.
5:00: Return to the apartment, read a book.
6:00-9:00: Delicious dinner.
11:00: Read and go to bed.

Here's some more pictures, friends:

An unfortunately blurry picture of an old atlas I managed to snap for Derek while fumbling for my non-zoom lens.

See that bike rack?  This is literally the fewest bikes I saw at once in Amsterdam.  So many bikes.
Rush hour is just like thirty bikes going around.

Honey badger don't give a shit.

Canal in the morning.

Different canal at a different time.

We went to the Van Gogh museum (AWESOME), the Rembrandt house, the Anne Frank house, and a "Museum of the Masters".  Those were cool.  Other than that we went around and did a bunch o' fun stuff.  Then we came on home on a preeeeeetty uneventful flight.  EXCEPT that when Ryan and I were chillin at the gate, we were both playing Civ V but keeping a pretty good ear tuned to the announcements at the gate.  Then, it felt like it had been way to long so we looked at the time.  4:45.  Flight left at 4:10.  Well shit.  So Ryan starts panicing and I'm all "It's chill, worse comes to worst we just pay a shitton of money".  I go up to the person at the desk and to make a long story short it turns out that while we were in the air from Amsterdam to Chicago the gate had changed and we hadn't checked.  Luckily enough, the next flight out of that gate was to PDX at 6, and because we were so nice and friendly she got us seats on that plane.  Our hero.  I will never forget you, superhero desk lady.  Anyhow, we get on this plane and land and go home and everything's fine.  This exchange occurred in the taxi.

Ryan: "When I get home I'm gonna shower, eat, shower again, and then go to bed."
Rich: "Yeah dude."
Ryan: "No, wait.  You know what comes before bed?"
Rich: "Uhh...toothbrush?"
Ryan: "A GOOD LONG FAP."
So I can only assume that happened.

SATURDAY LAST: Uhh...I slept till forever, ignored my homework, and played Binding of Isaac.

SUNDAY LAST: Repeat yesterday, except Ted got home so we partied hard (read: ate a metric dickton of pizza).

MONDAY LAST: WOOO RICH REMEMBER CLASS?! YEAH, YOU REMEMBER CLASS.  So I went to all of my classes (SCORE) including the first good hum lecture in a long time (DOUBLE SCORE) about Livy, which I actually read (TRIPLE SCORE) and enjoyed (QUADRUPLE HIGH SCORE).  Then blah blah.

TUESDAY LAST: More class.  Then I had a dickbutt of homework that I hadn't done, so I was aboouuuuuuttt to do that when I remembered that I had agreed to drive my friend around in a U-HAUL and pick up furniture around the Portland area.  So I did that.  We only almost died once.  But yeah I love driving.  Anyway, it was raining and cold and we had to take the bus WHICH WE ALMOST MISSED BUT WE MADE IT AND IT WAS JOY.  Then I got back and she bought me another pizza as a reward (I've had too much pizza holy fuck).  Worked till 1, then beddy-bye time for Richard.

My purty bowling pin, posing here with "Rich's Official
Desktop Communicator", Theocritus, and almonds.

YESTERDAY: Class.  Then the cross-canyon dorms (of which I am a proud-ish member) had a bowling event.  The first game I bowled a semi-respectable 149, which ended up being the high score (wowies) so I got to take home a bowling pin!  It's all purty.

Then you know what I did?  Slept.



TODAY: Class.  Then this blog. <3 It's good to be back.

-Rich

P.S. EVERYONE SHOULD EAT COOKIES TODAY! I don't know I didn't have anything more to say.