WHAT'S A FAP?!

I'LL SHOW YOU A FAP!
Okay, there's no fap here, in the sense (I assume) you were thinking.  Sickos.  That was a joke.  FAPs are Fixed Action Patterns.  Uhhhhhhhh

FRIDAY LAST: Last Friday I'm so goddamn sure I did something uhh....oh yeah it was Ted's birthday!  Happy birthday Ted!  So yeah what we did was eat at commons (eww) then we went to Trader Joe's, then Ted GOT TWO PIES AND WE ATE PIE AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.  I think we played Binding of Isaac too.  Alright.  Also did I have a chem test today?  I think so.  It went alright to well, I'll update y'all next week when I actually have the damn thing.

SATURDAY LAST: HUUUUUUMMM PAPPPPPERRRRRRRRR then we went to Thai Food (GOT SO MUCH IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD HURRR) and then we came back and had what will only be known as the Fry Party.  My HA Meg was all "Rich, I'm gonna buy us some little deep friers.  You're going to come up with things to fry.  It's going to be almost as awesome as you are in general."  Those were her literal words.  So we went to Safeway after thai and got a bunch of stuff to fry (INCLUDING TWINKIES I'M GONNA DIE) look at all those rhymes I'm a poet and I didn't even realize.  Anyway, after the fry party (which I'll post pictures of either now or later, depending on...well how lazy I am, honestly) we all just kinda hung out.  Dave told us he could suck his own dick.  So that was a fact I learned.  Thennnnn...sleep.

SUNDAY LAST: I woke up and came into the common room and oh god.  I remember.  People were watching a video called Lemon Stealing Whore.  Yes, that is an actual link to an actual porn video.  Do not watch more than the first bit, if you watch any, unless you actually want to watch porn.  I mean, it's got Joanna Angel in it, so you could do worse, but still.  You'll know when it changes to porn.  DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE HELENE DID AND WATCH BLOWJOBS UNEXPECTEDLY.  Anyway, they showed me the intro of this video because it's rather hilarious.  Some choice quotes:

"Baby, if you were a lemon, I'd put you on the mantle and cherish you like we do all our lemons"
"Oh yeah, there are those lemon stealing whores in this neighborhood."
"Hey, it has been about ten seconds till we looked at our lemon tree!"

Then I kinda goofed off for a while, played Civ V, blah blah, then finally studying for a bio test.  This is when I realized I was completely fucked for this test.  The teacher was awful, I hadn't been able to get up in time for most of the lectures, and I didn't know the material because ANIMAL BEHAVIOR IS NOT A REAL SCIENCE.  And by that I mean it's, as Ted put it, "Empirical but not experimental".  Ugh.  Then, after studying forever, I understood about half the material I had to.

MONDAY LAST: Class forever, then I got back and studied more bio.  So that was fun.  I was like "Well I totally understand all the parts that are sciency (about half) and half understand the rest, excluding the parts she SPECIFICALLY TOLD US NOT TO STUDY." So I went to bed.

TUESDAY LAST: "HEY KIDS, REMEMBER HOW I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY NOT TO STUDY TWO WHOLE SECTIONS OF THE BOOK?!  LIKE, I SPECIFICALLY WROTE DOWN, IN PRINT, AND HANDED OUT TO YOU THINGS THAT SAID I WOULD NOT TEST YOU ON THEM?!  WELL THOSE ARE WORTH 30% OF THIS TEST." were my professor's words, more or less.  So I bombed that test.  Like...oh god.  Anyway.  So that was horrible.  I then just...hung out cause I felt awful.  Ugh.  So...just...oh my god.  Mostly my fault how poorly I did on that test.  Oh well.  I'll do well this section cause it's essentially thermodynamics and other chemistry.

YESTERDAY: Did I even do anything yesterday?  I don't know, I went to class...then hung out, played Magic, Big 2, President, and "We Didn't Play-test This at All" which is a game that's super fun and not play-tested at all.  Then I went and played Monopoly with some people.  Oh yeah, I had a lab today that I fucking rocked and left after an hour cause I'm a god.

TODAY: Same drill as Tuesday, except I didn't fail any tests today, and I lolled real hard at Nicole's sex joke(?)  SEE HOW I MENTIONED THAT IN MY POST INSTEAD OF COMMENTS?!  THERE WILL BE A QUIZ ON THIS, KIDS.  Anyhow.  I hope those of you who are on your spring breaks enjoy them.  Uhh...yeah I've got nothing else.  Fry party pictures shall arrive as soon as I get around to putting them on my computer.

-Rich

P.S. WE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT THIS SUMMER AND MAKE BIG EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN.  LOVE EXPLOSIONS.  OF FIRE.  (what's he talking about I don't know)