Sweaters, Popcorn and... Sexual Assault

I'm in the middle of Winter Cleaning. It's like Spring Cleaning, except only I do it, and it's an unhealthy obsession with getting rid of things rather than a nice cleansing experience. But anyways...

Instead of going to a debate tournament this past weekend, I decided to stay on campus, which was quite a lovely decision. Instead of driving for hours to sit in a large room with chatty know-it-alls (not that I don't love them), I instead started off the weekend in the middle of the woods with the Bates Author's Guild late at night. We all huddled around a campfire, made s'mores and read poetry, both self-composed and written by others. At one point in the night, Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" was passed around and each person read a few verses. Whenever the word "nevermore" arose in the poem, I got to press a button that would then whisper out in a breathy male voice "...nevermore". I had this button because it came with the POEm Mike had. Anyways...

On Saturday, I woke up around eleven and had brunch with some Hayes House friends, then met up with Pernilla and Victoria. We took about a fifteen minute walk down to a used clothing store and bought large sweaters. My inventory was a gray sweater with a cat on it, a large male emerald green sweater, and a large garnet red cardigan. It costed around five dollars. I am pleased with my purchases. 

After sweater shopping, Victoria, Pernilla and I went back to Pernilla's house where we drank tea, ate popcorn and cookies, and re-watched the first episode of "The Newsroom" because Victoria had never seen it. An especially pleasing evening, to be sure.

Saturday night I stayed in Hayes, working on Chinese workbook in my newly purchased cat sweater until some drunk friends of Hanna entered my room. The alcohol they had imbibed in must have made me seem like a very interesting specimen, because they were very curious about my life, where I grew up and why I came to Bates. I tried to answer their questions as well as I possibly could, but then my dad called to ask about plane tickets so I had to dismiss the Q and A session early. While I was on the phone with dad, however, the drunk girls handed me their phones so that I would give them their phone numbers. Is this what it feels like to be popular? 

At a certain point in the night, I grew hungry. But alas, I had no food and dared not go outside to go to the Bobcat Den for food, since it's getting very chilly in Maine. Instead, I snuck into my neighbor's room and finagled myself a bag of popcorn. But I had to go downstairs to pop it.

Okay, before we go any further, let's set the scene. It's the weekend after Halloween, and Bates is having a costume party tonight. Therefore, there is a large party going on downstairs in the common room and kitchen in Hayes. I did not know this at the time. At the point in the night of my popcorn popping adventure, I was wearing 

1. A cat sweater

2. Pajama bottoms

3. mismatched socks

4. a pair of reading glasses that I use to focus and study (it's like a mindset thing. Put the glasses on = WORK TIME).

So. I head downstairs to a room full of dressed up, sweaty, drunk dancing bodies and squeeze myself into the kitchen to start making popcorn.

"Nicole, what are you dressed up as?"

"Who are you supposed to be?"

"What are you?"

Are questions thrown at me in every direction. I say I'm just making popcorn. The microwave beeps, I take out the popcorn, but then I get caught up on the party and set down the food to dance with some friends for a while. I come back to the kitchen to find that the hungry drunks have taken it upon themselves to snack on my popped corn. I quickly grab what's left of the bag and eat while dancing.

"Nicole, what are you dressed up as?" I am asked again.

I look at myself. Dancing awkwardly while eating popcorn, wearing glasses, a cat sweater, pajamas, and mismatched socks. 

"I'm...I'm Liz Lemon" I responded hesitantly. And as soon as I said it, I knew it was right. It was now my costume. 

Anyways, I danced for a little longer and talked to this guy whom I gave my number because he was going to the actual dance in the gym, and then I headed back up to my room. I looked up the boy a bit on Facebook to see what he was like ("potential dating material?" I wondered) and then saw he had liked the "Mitt Romney" page a few days ago. "Shut it down," as Liz Lemon would say. I wasn't that interested, anyways. 

Sunday rolls around. "Have you seen the kittens?" Nick asked.

"What?"

"Have you seen the kitten?" Nick repeats.

Well no. No I had not. Josh, another floormate of mine, was housing 2 kittens from a nearby animal shelter for a "socialization" program it held. Of course, as college students, we are not allowed to harbor pets in our rooms, but kittens will always win out against the law. So I spent a part of my Sunday afternoon playing with two adorable kittens while writing a paper for my Anthropology class. 

During this week(end), I also found myself as the recipient of a free pair of turquoise jeans (donated to me by Victoria) and some old loafers (donated to me by Pernilla, who has also given me a free sweatshirt and black dress---which by the way, mom, I want to get tailored while home so I can wear it for the Bates Gala dance). My friends are some of the most genuinely kind and giving people I have ever met. They're also extremely liberal, feminist, funny, and fashionable people I have ever met. And I am a mooch friend. So I need to up my game, yo.

Oh hey, and how about those elections, eh? I stayed up until 2:30 waiting for Romney and Obama's speeches. Super glad I get to keep my rights as a female citizen of the United States. Maybe someday I'll get equal pay and have less of a chance of being sexually assaulted in my lifetime (#pipedreams). 

Speaking of sexual assault (yep, this is the segue I have chosen for myself), I'm sure you well informed college students have heard about the whole Amherst rape and administration problems which has led to a lot of "It Happens Here, Too" campaigns and meeting across the country. Well, I just got back from a panel and discussion about the whole thing, as well as how Bates is going to step up their game, learning about the flaws of the system (both administratively and culturally) and talking about suggestions students have made to keep Bates safers and more survivor-friendly, especially to those who want to come forward to the administration about their assault. 

I'm really glad we had this forum and hope to see more like them, as well as implementation of some of the suggestions students have made to make Bates a better place. I hope to get more involved in this discussion and implementation of more programs and rules when it comes to sexual assault on campus. Because this is a big problem, you guys. I had a friend raped on campus just last year. And only 5% of college sexual assaults go reported. And when they do, often they are mishandled and cause the survivor a lot of stress and problems, especially when they press charges and LOSE, being told that the court has decided the survivor was lying and in fact had not been raped. Imagine being told that. That a traumatic experience you had been ruled never to have happened. And even if you don't go to court, imagine having counselors question whether you're overreacting or lying. Imagine having to deal with interacting with your rapist on a day-to-day basis because he didn't get expelled but you were forced to take a leave of absence for a few months because of being raped and not being permitted to then study abroad. Some of these things happened at Bates, and some of them happened at Amherst (read the article, it's worth the time: http://amherststudent.amherst.edu/?q=article/2012/10/17/account-sexual-assault-amherst-college), but either way it's happening all over the country. 

So, after that bit of a downer, happy November! Whether you are celebrating No Shave November, Shave November, National Novel Writing Month, or just Thanksgiving, I hope your month is going swimmingly.

Your pal,

Nicole