For the Next Ten Minutes

HELLO FRIENDS!  I AM STILL VERY STRESSED BUT THIS POST WILL BE BETTER CAUSE I'M LIKE HALF AS STRESSED AS LAST WEEK.  Also, Jill sees me more as a friend.  That put me in a pretty bad place for a while, but I'm pretty much better.  HALLELUJAHWWWWWOOOOEEOWEWOEWOEOEW. Okay let's go! Wow that's a lot of yelling.

THURSDAY LAST AFTER I POSTED:  Friday I was just freaking the fuck out about how I had to write a paper and Jill wasn't talking to me and I had to write a lab that I only had like just enough data to do an okay job on.  So I only did the things that were due the next day, and then my friends forced me to go to sleep.

FRIDAY LAST: Sooooooo first things first I took my chem test that I was really freaked out about.  It turned out okay in the long run (87%) but I was worried because all throughout the test I couldn't focus.  Because of this I made some pretty dumb mistakes (called an aldehyde group a ketone, forgot to divide by three moles) but whatever.  I turned stuff in and was gonna work on my paper but Liz and Autumn came up on the balcony with me and we ended up talking about our lives for like 5 hours.  They convinced me to talk to Jill rather than just freak out.  So yeah.

SATURDAY LAST: I woke up at like 8 o'clock because I had a 1600 word paper to write about a book I hadn't read.  I texted Jill first thing saying "Hey can we meet to talk at like 5?" (right after my paper deadline).  Then I get to work reading.  By the time I finish the play (Fairly short, very good.  Agamemnon) Liz joins me and we're both just working on our papers like motherfuckers.  Every 300 words or so I take a break to go goof off in the common room for like 10 minutes, then it's back to work.  I don't think I ate that day.  Anyhow, I finish my paper and it turns out preeeeetty nice if I do say so myself (which I just did).  So then I run turn that in, and meet Jill in commons.  Essentially she's all "We're friends" and I'm like "Fuck." and we discuss and I feel like shit but whatever and then we awkwardly talk till enough of her friends join us thinking we're just talking like normal for it to be okay for me to bailskiis.  Oh right earlier when I told Liz that I was doing this after the paper she was like "We're going to Thai food then, either to celebrate or cheer you up."  So I got back and then our Thai food group was going to leave and Chris Lu comes up and is like "I'M JOINING YOU."  Okay, Chris Lu is this kid who does a shitton of drugs.  That's fine, whatever.  The thing I don't like is that everything, LITERALLY EVERTHING, that ANYONE does is, according to Mr. Lu, motivated by some deep psychological thing that he MUST flesh out through shitty, annoying, bullshit, freudian, dumbass, lame-face, I-can't-really-think-of-many-more-of-these psychoanalysis.  And also he thinks that everything is his business.  And talks really really slowly and cockily.  

Chris Lu wishes he could be this man.

Now, as Cole will tell you, I say that I hate a lot of people.  I wouldn't say I hate Chris.  Some people like him, and whatever.  What I will say is that when I'm around him, I get in a really angry, shitty mood.  So for him to come on this trip right when I'm already in a shitty mood was not good.  But the food was, so whatever.  Also I met British Joe, who's a badass.  Then we all went back to the dorm and I read East of Eden for like 3 hours, then played Skyrim for 2.  Then felt good enough to head into the common room, where a bunch of people were reading "The Sexual Intellectual". This is a blog by this kid at Reed who claims to be a feminist, but all he posts on his site is pictures of himself and his girlfriends (stressed plural) naked, terrible sex advice, and misogynistic thoughts.  It was, to say the least, amusing.  I read one post in my best british douchebag voice.  Super fun.  Then, finally, I embraced sweet sweet death sleep.

SUNDAY LAST: Woke up and stared at ceiling for an hour.  Then I............got to work?  I honestly remember very little about Sunday.  Let's see if there's anything on my calendar.  Nope!  What the fuck did I do on Sunday?  Oh never mind I remember.  I literally sat in the common room for 4 hours watching my friend Varchas play Skyward Sword.  It's a really pretty game.  Anyone with a Wii and Wii Motion Plus should get it.  That was relaxing.  Then I hung out and talked to people, then went to bed.

This was an image result for "biology fuck yeah".

The infamous "penis-board".

MONDAY LAST: Soooooo Monday...I just did class and stuff.  Then I hung out in the common room forever and, using a little whiteboard, essentially taught everyone genetics and a little bit of microbio.  Mrs. Walters, if you're reading this, tune in now.  Okay so our Genetics unit was last section.  The professor, Sarah, had Coe syndrome (great person, bad teacher) and I wasn't in the mood to pay attention to shitty lectures.  If you recall, these are the ones I started skipping at the end.  I got ~90% (I don't know my exact grade cause Reed) on that test.  The average was 62%.  All of my knowledge came from Ms. Walters' class.  I looked at the test and filled in a question (central dogma drawing, go figure), which apparently WAS NEVER COVERED IN LECTURE.  But I digress.  This is the microbiology unit.  About bacteria and viruses and stuff, with a little energetics sprinkled in there for flavor.  However, in the review lecture on monday, ALL THAT WE COVERED WAS GENETICS.  FROM LAST UNIT.  And even after Jay (who's a complete and total badass) explained stuff well they still didn't get it.  So I came back to the common room after all my tests and explained the fuck out of operons and promoters and all that.  So that was how I studied and spent my Monday night.  At one point Stephen Stack drew me a penis because I love dick jokes so much.  Then Ryan, Liz and I watched a bunch of weird animal videos on YouTube (like a guy who put both a Brown Recluse and Black Widow on his hand for 2 minutes) and then I went to bed.

TUESDAY LAST: Okay so first I had my bio test.  50 minute test.  Finished in 20.

YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Then I had 3 hours to memorize two monologues.  I DID SO.  Then I performed those monologues for my acting class.  MY LAST EVER ACTING CLASS.  THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER HAVE TO INTERACT WITH KATHLEEN WORLEY AS LONG AS I DO DRAW BREATH.  So I felt pretty good.  As in I danced out of that class.  Then while I was waiting for lunch Jill came up and we talked so that means we're friends.  Then I went back to my dorm and studied for...something.  Then we just all hung out in the common room.  My friend Autumn had a huge set design project to do, so I decided I'd keep her company.  We started to play Dead Poet's Society in the common room.  Keep in mind this is like 11:00 PM.  So eventually everyone but Autumn, Stack, Noah and I are gone.  And this is when I start to get tired.  Then I started to make commentary on this movie.  It was moustache o'clock the whole world round, so it was incredibly inane, and I was asked several times if I was high.  LACK OF SLEEP IS A GATEWAY DRUG.  Okay so but yeah that was fun.  Then I made eggs and toast.  Then I went to bed...

WEDNESDAY LAST: ...FOR EXACTLY THREE HOURS.  Woke up, went to Hum lecture.  This was dumb.  It was the panel lecture they do at the end of first semester.  Three different professors trying to give three different lectures about the same work.  It was pointless.  To many conflicting tones and styles and, at one point, even conflicting ideas.  It was frustrating.  The truly frustrating part came later though, when the Q&A section began.  At first, some whatever questions.  Okay whatever.  Then came the questions obsessed with making every work we read, EVERY FUCKING ONE, about gender.  Goddamn do I hate that.  Okay whatever.  THEN COMES UP THIS GIRL.  DRESSED IN "I'M A DUMBASS" CLOTHES, WHO SAYS, AND I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS WORD FOR WORD, I WROTE IT DOWN I WAS SO MAD:

Dumb Girl: So all this talking has reminded me of True Blood, especially season two.  You guys should all watch it.  If you're interested.  Season one is good too.

Professors: Sorry, I can't hear what you're saying.

DG: True Blood?

P: Sorry, I still can't quite make out what you're saying... (ed. IT'S CUASE YOU GUYS THINK SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING SEMI-HALFWAY-INTELLIGENT)

DG: True.  Blood.  On HBO?

Some students start to laugh.  I make a list of who I have to kill for encouraging her.

P: True Blood?  What is that?

DG: It's a really cool show about vampires and stuff.

Then dumb girl sits down.  And people laugh.  And I RAGE.  Anyway, then I finish up class and get back to my dorm where other freshman and I yell about how much we hate that girl.  AAGADLKFJASDOFUANDSF whatever.  Then I just sat back and relaxed.  Played a lot of Skyrim.

P.S. I get back on the 16th in the afternoon.  We should all hang out at some point.  Also, sorry if I seemed to be overreacting to the ad thing.  It makes no difference to me.  Alllsoooooooo...I think that's all the alsos I have.  Oh, no, that's a lie, I lied.  I'm still gonna post next week cause I love all y'all.  <3