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It's Tuesday folks in case you didn't know.  And what does that mean?  Well, to you it may mean another blog post.  But to me, it means that Diablo 3 is officially out.  Now, in case you were unaware that this wondrous was coming out, or even that it existed, I pity your existence.  Ok, maybe that's a little harsh.  So far, in my less than three hours of game time, it's a pretty good game but nothing to scream about...yet.  We'll see how it goes.  I have high hopes, especially since my entire middle-school/early high school career was dominated by this game.  Since many of you probably don't care to hear about my level 11 Wizard I will continue on with what I do think you will enjoy hearing about.

If you were looking forward to the topics I foreshadowed writing about last week then I am sorry to disappoint you but you will not be hearing about them.  At least about all of them anyway.  Except now you are hearing about them because I'm giving them the attention they do not deserve.  Hmmm.  Welsh choir music just isn't as exciting to talk about as I thought it was.  And neither are blueprints to a house that all of you (bar a few readers) will never see.

I will talk about my comprehensive evaluation of my first year of college however.  And I'll just tell you now that I'm not really in the mood to write something long with superfluous descriptions to flaunt my nonexistent writing abilities *cough*  so if this explanation turns out to be shorter than what you wanted I am sorry.  You may ask, "Well, why are you writing this post now if you are not in the mood to practice writing all snazzy-like?  Isn't that the purpose of this blog besides keeping in touch with some of your best friends?"  Well, astute reader, Diablo 3 currently has maintenance till 3:30pm (2:40pm now) and we now have a reason to write a blog post. ( I don't know why I said "we" because you definitely aren't helping me with this, it's all me.  But I like to make you feel included in the creative process, so there you go.)

College.  Wow, it's already been an entire year?  I'm already done with twenty five percent of my time at college.  Depending on what I decide to do, I could have just finished a fourth of my life's experience with higher learning.  That's scary.  So what have I accomplished in that time?  I've taken seven four unit classes and one one unit seminar.  I've done community service for a variety of organizations, with a preference for one that happens to make bread on Thursday nights.  I've become part of Berkeley's Greek system by joining a fraternity.  I've joined, and am now an officer in, a club.  And I've made numerous connections and established friendships that I hope to hold for life.

Let's take it little by little.

And I'm going to go a little out of order because after I wrote out everything I realized that the order lends itself to a different sequence than the one listed above.

Community Service:  This has been awesome.  Now, listing it as the first thing, you have probably deduced that it is least important to me in my college experience.  Which, it probably is.  But that by no means discredits the fact that I have found a new passion for community service.  There is simply no better feeling than giving back to the community that you are now a part of.  I think it finally sank in because Berkeley is my community while Newport is more my parents community.

Club:  I can't believe I was able to find a club that literally did the exact same thing I did in high school.  Teaching science at an elementary school for me is not only enjoyable, but it's something I feel passionate about. Increasing kids interest in science at a young age I believe is extremely important.  So for me to do something that I not only look forward to doing on a Friday afternoon, but also think is benefiting society is a dream come true.  Also, I'm excited to be an officer starting next semester as I'm looking forward to getting to know all of the other officers better and really making this club the best it can be.

Academics. Overall, I am disappointed in myself in regards to academics.  First semester I finished with a 3.56 GPA, which, although good, could have been better based on the difficulty of classes taken and the effort I put forth.  Second semester was tough. I took four four unit classes, each of the classes being known as some of the most difficult at Cal. I still don't know all of my grades, but regardless, I was severely disappointed with the amount of effort I put forth.  For example, the one grade I do know is for my E7 (MatLab Programming) class.  I got a B, which was the median grade.  However, I believe I could have done much better with increased minimal effort.  I will now try to explain why, in what Nelson (as I tried to relate to him my frustration at myself for not trying as much) said a very complicated manner, I know I could have done better in E7.

E7 grading policy is as such.
15% Midterm
45% Final

and then either
(1) 30% Labs
10% Participation

(2) 40% Labs

There are 12 weeks in the semester.  Thus, there are 12 labs and a possible 12 points of participation (going to lab at the start of each week earns you one participation point).  Participation is out of 10 points however which means you can miss two lab sections, and the lowest two labs are dropped meaning you are only graded on your top 10 labs.  Then, the better grade of the previously listed options is factored into calculating your grade.

I ended with a 4/10 for participation because I didn't want to go to 8am class over a mile away.  I also skipped 3 labs (yes, skipped, that's a zero) because twice I didn't want to do them (with the thought that I would be fine since I had two drops) and once because I was physically too sick (oops).  I did relatively well on both the midterm and final, ending myself with the average grade in the class, but I'm still disappointed in myself.  You can hopefully see from that long, convoluted example that with a small increase in effort I could have had a much better grade.

To put it best, I was having lunch with one my friends, Stefan, and he said to me, "I'm done with my Sophmore year and I feel like I haven't had college yet.  Sure grades are nice, but I haven't really had the college experience that I want.  Next semester I'm going to try and make the most out of college because grades follow the law of diminishing returns; the effort it takes to get from failing to a B is about the same to get from a B to an A.  And I would much rather have that great four years of college with a B."  I looked at him and said to him, "I think I have the exact opposite problem."

I have loved my first year of college.  As said above, I am disappointed with myself in my academics, but I have literally had the best time of my life.  I guess I'll just mash up my last two points (fraternity and friendships) together here, because these two things have been the largest part of my college experience.  I'm sure all of you have heard the saying, "College will be the best four years of your life."  Now, upon entering college I have heard people say the exact opposite to me, but regardless I went to Berkeley with the intention of making it the best years of my life.

Now, I was a little unsure first semester if this was the fabled best time of my life that I hoped it would be.  But come second semester, I was sure that the next three years were going to be amazing.  Amazing in the sense of the definition of the word, not the overused social implication.  Full of wonder, excitement, and new experiences that would surprise me.  When my mom asked me on the ride home from Berkeley to Newport what my best part of my first year at college was, there was no hesitation in my mind that it was joining Phi Psi.

Phi Psi has literally become my life. Almost everything I do is connected in some way to my fraternity.  I eat with my brothers.  I go to the library with my brothers.  I live with my brothers.  And to all who still harbor the view of the stereotypical fraternity, I apologize, because there are great groups of guys out there that genuinely want to see there peers, friends, and community succeed.  I don't really know how to convey how much I love Phi Psi because I feel whenever I give it such great praise, all of you reading this simply see me as a stereotypical frat guy.  But this fraternity has changed my life and I am beyond excited to spend the next three years living in a house with thirty of my closest friends.

Which leads me to the topic of friendships that I have made at this school.  Berkeley is such a big school that I have met the most diverse set of people I could ever imagine. Luckily, I was able to establish friendships with some of these people, and they are more than I could ever ask for.  Many people come up to me telling me that they love college because their high school years sucked.  I always am baffled because I thought and still think that high school was the shit.  The shit in a good way of course.  I think that can be attributed to the close friendships I made however, and so I am thankful that I have such close friends.  I originally didn't think college could match these friendships, but it has proven otherwise and shown me that friendships can grow anywhere if you let them to.  So thank you to all the new friends I have made this year, I hope we retain friends for life.

And so now I find myself finished with the list I set to check off by relating to you what I did in my first year of college.  However, perhaps the most important thing I have learned from this year is left to be said.  What I learned goes beyond my academic or social achievement.  What I learned is something internal.  Something in the way I think.

There comes a time in many students mind that they think, "What am I good at?  What defines me?"  And to a lot of people, me included, that thing that I was "good at" defined me as a person.  They were one and the same.  I viewed myself internally as the person who was intelligent.  Of course, it goes deeper than that into how intelligent I was, but to me the first attribute I gave myself was "intelligent" or "smart".  Perhaps this was societies backlash or perhaps it was a personality trait, but this self-classification was challenged at Berkeley.

No longer was I the top 2%.  No longer was I the smart one.  Everyone was so smart at Cal.  I was just average Joe.  And so, for a while I had a hard time being satisfied with this.  If I was no longer smart, what was I?  Obsessed with the idea that what I was good at defined me I looked to other outlets.  I wasn't particularly athletic or funny.  I was good at piano, but at this time it was over a year since I had played and thus I could not rightly tell people I was good at piano without feeling a guilt that I actually hadn't played in a year.  What was I good at?

The life lesson I learned at college, which really came to define what I took away most from my freshman year, was that I needn't be good at anything.  I can just be Jason and be happy with that.  There is no other person on the world like me and my individual traits make up who I am.  I was stripped of all my trophies, told by the society around me that I wasn't going to be the best or even above average at anything.  But, I found the ability to be satisfied with being who I am.  No one could tell me that I wasn't Jason. I learned to become self-satisfied with myself.  To enjoy living not for what gains could be made in life, but for the sake of life itself.

Yeah that went a little too deep, but I've honestly done a lot of growing in how I think about the world around me, and that is really what I grew most in over this year.  To some of you, you probably already have found this out, and to others you might be struggling with it, but regardless I thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you.  I think that's about it folks.  I mean, it's 3:47pm, and the Diablo 3 servers are back up and I'm still here, just for you!  Look how committed I am.  Okay, that might not be the most endearing compliment, but whatever, you haven't contributed at all to this blog like you promised you would when I said "we" would write this blog post.

It's been a great year and I really cannot wait to see each and every one of you so please don't be shy when you get home and let's hang out.  I look forward to next year when, despite what the rest of you want to do, I will still be blogging.  And I will continue to post until our last blogger is done with school to keep them company. :)

Thanks.

Jason