There... and Back, Again.

I have never related to anything more than this.  I love asofterworld.com

I’m glad that our blog is on Pacific Time.

This is a small section of the whole thing.

Today is (was) Derek’s birthday, and I am, as Jason put it “an amazing friend” so I got him a t-shirt.  It’s called “There and Back Again”, so it can’t be all bad.  I’m still waiting to hear from him as to whether or not it’s accurate.  Let’s hope so.

I was feeling really demoralized earlier, very lonely because it’s my fall break, too, and one of my better friends, Denis, lives in PA so he went home.  Just sort of felt like I didn’t have any friends.  I really miss you guys.  I know that no one else is as homesick as me, and that we’re all adults now.  And I got the reputation of being really friendly and the idea was presented to me that it’d be easy for me to make friends in D.C..  And I have friends, a lot actually, especially in my frat and I’m friendly with all the people in my classes.  It’s just more of a “good to see you” and less of a “I should text them to hang out” sort of relationship, besides a few close people, like Denis and a girl named Caitlin, who similarly lives in VA so she isn’t here either.  Anyway, the pity party is over.  I drowned it in the largest ICEE I’ve ever seen, much less consumed, and a box of those “what-the-fuck-are-these” cookie dough bites.  At the movies.  I saw a useless film; that remake of Footloose.  I’m not proud of it, but when April (primarily my roommates friend, but we’re on good terms) said she wanted to go, I happily jumped at the chance to get out into the city.

So just know you are all missed, because for all that I want to save the world, I really am a homebody who loves her friends.  And at AU, it’s pretty much a requirement for admittance that you want to save the world.  So I’m not as special as I was at home.  That’s all.  Promise me, all of you, that we will get cha when we come home for Thanksgiving?  So we can all grill Rich about how literally half his posts have been late, so we can celebrate Derek’s turning nineteen, so we can debate Nicole, and give Jason a few sober hours.  And so we can give Rachael some much-needed hugs.

I really want to write this novel I’ve been thinking up for years.  It’s set in purgatory.  Maybe I’ll do it for NaNoWriMo.  It’s sort of a cross between Groundhog’s Day, Wristcutters: A Love Story, and… I don’t know.  Something else.  Hopefully something that hasn’t been done yet.

I leave you with a quote from Little Bee, because I don’t have the energy to post any longer.  I really really hope someone has a response to this blog because 0 comments is the worst tragedy.  Cest la bad post karma from Rich, aka I’m boring and it’s not his fault at all.  Sorry I keep blaming you, Rich.

“Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly.  That is what the scar makers want us to think.  But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them.  We must see all scars as beauty.  Okay?  This will be our secret.  Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying.  A scar means, I survived.”

Make up the words of love you need to hear to make you smile.  Good night.

-Rachael